Infectious Disease

“There is no storm worse than calm, and no foe more dangerous than to have no foes.”

Its very important to grow.  I constantly feel the need to push my limits, scare myself with novelty, and grow in all aspects of my life.  There has never been and I hope there will never be a time, which I am content with where I am in life.  Physically, mentally, and spiritually I think it is important to constantly evaluate and reevaluate myself and question what I think and believe.  Ignatius makes a good point with this quote that I can relate to because he seems to feel the same way as I do about complacency.  Complacency is a chronic disease that can effect a person's life negatively overall.  Complacency and apathy are partner diseases in this sense because apathy too can cause the substance of a person to rot.  Apathy in a general sense leaves the person effected empty.  When I was younger, in high school, I dated a girl for a few months.  She was very pretty, had a nice smile, and was friendly when, in the past, I had spoken to her.  At first our relationship went through the typical pattern of young love.  The novelty of the relationship was blinding and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.  The novelty wore away after about a week or two.  I began to realize that this girl was not a bad person in any sense, but I could not continue in a relationship with her because she was infected with these diseases.  Complacency and apathy were through her completely.  She seemed to me to have no substance.  She had no real opinions on anything, and where she was in life she was completely happy staying.  This began to eat at me.  Day and night I'd begin to see it more and more in her life and the way she did things.  I could not take it. 

The feeling it gave me seeing this in her was close to fear because I know that these diseases are contagious.  Many people become filled with complacency after a while either because growth is not a process that is easily undertaken, or because they fall into a lifestyle of complacency and apathy slowly.  What I mean here is that people fall victim to these mindsets both suddenly and gradually.  Some just decide to give up because they are tired, but others never even notice that the change has taken place.  This girl was born into a complacent and apathetic environment and she never fought outside of this way.  I tried to talk to her, but she seemed happy to stay.  Needless to say this was the basis for our break up, and it haunts me that I could not help her.  The best way to have no foes is to not have opinions or a strong sense of conviction about anything.   I agree with Ignatius in this quote, and keep myself in a constant state of evaluation and questioning so that my spirit, mind, and body never stop burning, I also like to keep track of my enemies like rewards to remind me that I stand for something.

Questions of Evil

My first blog was written in something of a scientific style.  With some advice, I have decided to change my writing style to a more personal approach.  This will perhaps help others in digesting this blog, but ultimately, this will allow the blog itself to become a tool in my search for Truth.

The topic of this blog could have been one of two things, and though both are interesting topics, I feel one is more necessary.  Of course, I could tell a story of a time when I have done something "crazy".  I have plenty stories from which to choose, but that would not, I feel, further my journey to find answers in myself.  The topic that this blog will cover, however, is a difficult one.  I chose the more difficult topic because it seems to me that it is always the road more difficult that is the most fruitful.  It is with this mentality, that I approach the task of my topic.

Almost as long as there have been humans, there has been the idea of Evil.  Evil over time has transformed and shifted and ultimately has been quite a malleable idea.  In the most basic sense, the word can describe something that is simply "bad".  I put this in air quotes because bad too seems to be a word that varies from person to person, but it is not a challenge to see how the first peoples could have viewed other creatures that threatened harm or pain as evil.  Today we know that seldom do animals hold sinister motives when following their instincts to survive.  Later on, people would view things that were, to them, unnatural as evil.  In a very recently relevant example, homosexuality was once considered, and by some still is, evil, but today it is now legal for people of the homosexual communities to be freely married with the government's recognition.  The point is, I think that the idea of evil, in general, is often a very relative idea.  It all really depends on from what perspective you are looking at something.  This is the very realistic part of me.  The part that wants to look at facts and what is obviously in front of me, but I am hardly satisfied with this as an answer.


While I do tend to hold very realistic views on some things, I also have beliefs that contradict that very same point of view.  Because of my family's heritage, things I've experienced, and just things I feel I've found through searching, I believe there is more than just our physical world.  There seems enough evidence to believe that there is some other realm (for lack of a better term) or state of matter.  I think this other realm presents itself as energies.  This is not an entity within itself, and should not be mistaken as one.  I am not redefining a Christian God.  People's thoughts and desires influence their energies and the energies of others.  This is not very different from what Fr. Pedro Arrupe S.J. says about falling in love.  He, of course, relates his idea to God and falling in Love with God.  I think that people do not have much of a choice in the actual action because everyone has something that drives them to do what they do, even if to most people they seem empty or mindless. There is usually a reason that people are predisposed to acting the way that they do whether or not they even know it.  I believe that these energies may be capable of manifesting themselves into actual forces of work that are not typically associated with this world.  This is a necessary preface to explain what I feel is evil and Evil.

Holding strong to this idea that people can set things in motion that not even they necessarily understand, there seems that no larger singularly unified force is in control of all that happens here in our universe.  Essentially, this means, there is no Christian God, but while a thought such as this may upset the church's beliefs, this belief has room to include and explain the church.  If energy is combined, then obviously more energy can perform more work.  Under systems like religions, people who are not aware or not strong enough in the control of their energy can feed into a community of energy that then pools together all of the energies placed within it.  People believe, on occasion, that God can perform miracles.  If enough people believe that something seemingly impossible can happen for the good of someone in need, then that energy placed into truly believing that forces effects into motion to make that belief a reality.  This is the power of the mind.

Having the thought that people are capable of such doings, and knowing that people all have different interests and points of view, some people can put forces into motion that not all may agree with and that may actually harm some others.  This may be caused by selfish desires or other such emotions.  This, in my opinion, is not necessarily good or evil, but rather animals doing what they do in order to survived and fulfill desires.

I must note that this is a very incomplete understanding of all that I have thought into because the network of ideas behind much of what is presented here is more in-depth than the scope of this blog's topic.  The ultimate conclusion that has been decided upon, though, is that no there is no definite evil or Evil.  However, what may be beneficial to the survival of one or one group, may be in direct contrast to another.  This dipole is necessary and natural, but depending on which side of the fence you stand determines what you may view as good and evil.  This being said, I hold my own particular view on what is a smart way to approach decisions and the energies you exert.  That, however, is a topic for another occasion.